2011: A new year, new changes, and reflection

“If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.” -Gail Sheehy

---

I’m home in Alaska. It’s nine in the morning and dark outside. The sun has yet to rise, but I’m still on Eastern Time, wide-awake and ready to go. Recent Chinook winds have brought warm temperatures to Anchorage, melting away the snow, turning parking lots to ice. Nevertheless, it feels good to be home in spite of the darkness, in spite of the ice and poor ski conditions. It’s funny how home is comforting no matter what…

Since mid-November I’ve been on the road ski racing, first in West Yellowstone, Montana and then in Silver Star and Rossland, British Columbia. After the early season races I traveled to Vermont to be with my family for the holidays. It was good to be on the road, but hard at the same time.

Racing in West Yellowstone, Montana.

(photo credit: Andy Caniff, Swix)

Over the last six months I’ve struggled with illness. Coming off some great summer training and PRs on many of our team interval courses, in late summer I got totally knocked down by a nasty walking pneumonia-type bug for six weeks. It took a lot to get back on my feet after that as I went into the fall. Then at the beginning of December, two weeks into our first period of racing, we stopped in Silver Star, BC and I got hit again. In Silver Star- one of favorite ski spots in the world- I was quarantined, because the last thing anyone wanted was to get sick. I barely skied at all and didn’t race, fighting a bad head cold for around ten days. Just back on my feet, we traveled to Rossland, BC where I raced two of the three races in a mini-tour before sitting out the last race and packing up to head east for a holiday break with family.

Upon arriving in the east I once again got sick- this time with a nasty chest cold, complete with a terrible hacking cough. I took the entire time off, only going for periodic walks. I struggled to sleep at night, as my cough worsened when I was horizontal. I coughed so much, in fact, that I began to experience rib pain. It was minor at first, but got gradually more uncomfortable as I continued to cough. After some time it was clear that I’d either badly bruised, separated or cracked rib(s) on my left side. Perhaps that was the straw that broke the camel’s back- it was definitely time to go home.

- - -

Ski racing is a wonderful, exhilarating, inspiring pursuit. It can be rewarding beyond measure and full of incredible lessons that reach far beyond sport. I love ski racing and am so thankful that it is a part of my life, but I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t been extremely hard lately. I feel like I’m in a big hole. For much of the last two years I’ve struggled to find form, my body has felt off, and most recently, I’ve been plagued by illness. At the same time, most certainly in conjunction with this, my attitude towards racing has changed. I’ve felt negative and anxious. My racing has been labored, and my muscles have been tight. Through my studies in psychology at APU, I've come to understand just how interconnected the body and mind are, and I can see without a doubt that I’m generally just really burned out.

Rather than fight this, rather than continuing to go through the motions, racing with a tired body, an anxious doubtful mind, and less than a whole heart, I decided to take a little vacation from ski racing. Having not taken more than a few days off- and always only due to illness (or appendectomy)- since I was fourteen, I gifted myself a break. To be completely honest, this wasn’t as calculated or as easy as it sounds. Sometimes forced rest- in this case by illness- can be a blessing in disguise, and that’s exactly what it has turned out to be. Over Christmas I couldn’t even go for a short walk- let alone train- without having horrible coughing fits, and so I didn’t train. Simple as that sounds, it was a big deal for me. I skied only once in two weeks while in Vermont. I took care of myself. I let my mind relax. I didn’t get anxious about losing training base. I spent time with family…

My dad opening Christmas presents...

My Nana...

My mom tasting the local ice cream at Ben & Jerry's during our Christmas shopping trip in Burlington, VT.

I played with my youngest cousins, Charlotte and Annika Mannix, ages three and five, who I only see once every few years. I held their new baby brother, 11 week-old John Fredrick Mannix, for the first time and watched him smile, blow bubbles and coo...

I prepared food...

I baked cookies with my mom and brother…

(photo credit: Ian Mannix)

And then we ate them and we gave more away…

I took leisurely walks with my family around the incredible Shelburne Farms, an expansive 1,400-acre historic landmark- turned working farm and environmental education center, on the edge of Lake Champlain.

And my brother took beautiful pictures, as he always does (thanks little brother)…

(photo credit: Ian Mannix)

Around Christmas time I chose not to attend US Nationals for the first time since 2003. When New Years rolled around, I didn’t make any resolutions, but now, in hindsight I realize that I actually did in a way. The change in my life in 2011 has come in the form of letting go (at least temporarily) of a compulsion to train and the self-imposed pressure to race no matter what. I've gradually accepted this change and the gift of some time off. And so I’ve returned home, I’ve found peace with not being across the country ski racing, being frustrated, fighting sore ribs and persistent illness. I’ve tackled new projects- cleaned my house and organized my bookshelves. I’ve paid bills and organized paperwork. Last night I opened my last Christmas gift from my family, a wonderful new bread book, and was inspired to create a new sourdough starter…

I’m planning a fun birthday weekend with my mom and have convinced my parents to let me steal my dog back for a month or so for some company…

(photo credit: Ian Mannix)

I have some baking projects up my sleeve, as always…

And last, but not least, I’ve started my senior project- a thesis of sorts- and the last class of my undergraduate career at Alaska Pacific University…

I’m not done ski racing yet though, and I do miss it. I’ve been following the tremendous success of my teammates the last few days at US Nationals- today both men and women took the top two spots in both distance races, with many other really impressive performances from other my teammates as well! I’m so excited for my team and feel very lucky to be part of such a talented group. I’m also incredibly appreciative of my coach, Erik Flora, for his patience and understanding, and most of all, for his belief in me.

And while I miss my friends and teammates, and the travel and camaraderie, for the time being, I’m happy to be where I am. Sometimes it takes being away from something to realize just how much you miss it. So I’m enjoying the solitude of my cozy condo, not fretting about the ice rink-turned ski trails in Anchorage, eating good food, and compiling fascinating articles on the personality type of elite athletes for a literature review for my senior project.

I can’t exactly say what’s in store for me or how long my hiatus will be, but that’s what’s nice about it. I’m looking forward to completing my degree, testing out some new sourdough bread recipes, taking walks with my dog, and when I’m rested and rearing to go, I’m going to be back on skis.

The journey continues...

I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!

---

“Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.” -Pauline R. Kezer

Adventures in the Wild West, APU-Style!

Skiing- Silver Star, BC.

Check out the latest APU video by my teammate Reese Hanneman. This time I was able to help a little by taking lots of race video during the men's 10km classic race in West Yellowstone, Montana (my first time taking race footage). I also jumped into a few of the night skiing shots at the beginning of the film. Thanks, Reese, for the great portrayal of our most recent team adventures!

I'm sidelined with a cold right now, so rather than training, I've been drinking lots of tea, sleeping, and willing my body to get better in advance of the classic sprint and 10km freestyle races this weekend at Sovereign Lakes here on Silver Star Mountain, BC, Canada. Stay tuned for more updates!

Life on the Road: Snowstorms, good eating, fresh corduroy, and endless K's...

Life doesn't get much better than this...

Blue skies and picturesque trees- the view from the trails this morning.

I'm over two and a half weeks and four races into two months of travel, training, and ski racing, and not even a recent lingering head cold has been able to bring down. So far I've experienced no shortage of: abundant snow (and snowstorms), camaraderie, holiday spirit, great food, fantastic training, successful racing, beautiful scenery, fast skis, and plentiful amounts of fun! Since mid-November I've been on the road with my APUNSC team. We started out in West Yellowstone, Montana, where an incredible snowstorm made for an exciting Thanksgiving weekend of race postponements, stranded race timers and TDs, stuck and unstuck vehicles, closed and re-opened roads and passes, and a particularly memorable morning of playing in the snow, followed by some incredibly successful APU race performances.

West Yellowstone, MT: mid-storm.

It was a great beginning to our trip, as the team showed that we were not only an incredibly cohesive group, but a well-trained, focused collection of athletes.

APU Ladies having FUN! A deck-jumping, snow-loving romp in the bottomless West Yellowstone powder.

The APU ladies after cleaning up in all four races (over three days) of the West Yellowstone SuperTour.

APU athletes eating well. Celebrating Thanksgiving early (ahead of the opening races). Overwhelmingly the best APU athlete-cooked turkey day dinner yet!

After a solid block of racing and an over-distance workout on the Rendezvous Ski Trails in West, we packed up our bags, our hundreds of pairs of skis, our wax benches, our massive quantities of leftover food... and began the annual pilgrimage north to Silver Star Mountain in the heart of British Columbia.

We couldn't have been more excited to see the... 100+ km of twice-daily groomed trails, fairy tale village, and signature Silver Star snow-loaded trees. This place is truly Nordic skier heaven!

We're several days into our training camp here in Silver Star. Intervals have hammered out at the race venue at Sovereign Lakes, but I've been hit my a little cold. After hard racing in West and two lengthy days of driving, my body needed a little rest and was sure to let me know. Luckily, this bug was short-lived, as I was able to get out on the trails today (after a couple of days of rest). It was a perfect day to get back onto the trails, with temps in the mid-20s F, blue skies and beautiful views of the rolling hills below the mountain. It was also a great opportunity to test some of my classic skis, which were delivered to West fresh from the grinder.

Getting a feel for both my new skis and my recently ground skis is always critical heading into the season, so that race ski selection is streamlined on race day. With the help of the APU wax staff and the support top-notch grinders this process has been very productive, and I've learned a ton about my fleet over the last couple weeks. After having excellent skis in all four races in West, it felt good to get out on a few pairs of classic boards today to get a feel for them in Silver Star snow conditions. With some good testing and a great ski under my belt today, and my cold winding down, I know I'll be ready to hit the race courses at Sovereign in a little less than a week!

Thanks for tuning in! Until my next post, happy trails!

West Yellowstone!

Hi from West Yellowstone, Montana! Today was our first "official" day on snow here (last night some of us got out for a super fun, informal, shake-the-legs-out headlamp ski). We hit the ground running (well, actually skiing) with a little moderate intensity to spark the body and also got some fun, easy skiing in as a team. We're psyched about our new uniforms for the season, and coach Erik did a girls photo shoot today as we were heading back to the car.

Yep, we're loving being here (and celebrating teammate Sadie Bjornsen's 21st Birthday today, fourth from right in the above photo)!

Monday we're celebrating team Thanksgiving early, and Wednesday the races kick off with skate and classic sprint prelims. More to come from West soon! Thanks to Erik Flora for taking the photos.

Handcrafted, Full Bodied

On the road (and in the air) again...

The snow is falling in West Yellowstone, Montana, and we're on our way to the first races of the season. The West Yellowstone Ski Festival is the tradition start of the North American race season, with four competitions taking place over the Thanksgiving holidays. This year we will be racing a classic AND a skate sprint prelim (on the same day), a 10km skate, and a 5km classic. APU will be out in full force, sporting our new Swix blue uniforms (thanks, Swix!). This is the biggest APU team yet to attend the West Yellowstone SuperTour races, with almost 20 athletes in attendance!

Tonight we stay in Bozeman, MT after a long day of travel, and tomorrow we make a big Costco run for our week in West (including all our Thanksgiving food). After our opening weekend in West, we head to Silver Star, British Columbia- one of my personal favorite race (and training) venues. From there we'll compete in Rossland, BC before we have a short break for the Christmas holidays. During that downtime, I'll be flying back East to spend a week with my parents, brother, and grandmother in Vermont before US Nationals are contested in Rumford, ME at the beginning of January. The two month trip will finish off with more SuperTour races in Lake Placid, NY in the middle of January.

Since I'm going to be away for two months, the last few days has been hectic finishing up school, training, and preparing to leave. It's a challenge to pack for racing and Christmas, anticipating both cold and warm weather throughout my travels... but it's fun at the same time. Being on the road is exciting, as is the anticipation that goes along with the beginning of a new season! It's exciting, because I feel prepared to hit the snow.

I'm psyched to have a great team surrounding me, great coaching and wax support, top-notch and generous sponsors (in Swix Wax, Poles, and Accessories; Fischer Skis; Salomon Boots and Bindings; Rudy Project Eyewear; Nordic Ultratune Stone Grinding; and PowerBar). I'd also like to thank Carlile Transportation Systems- my main financial sponsor- for their unwavering support over many years. Also, big kudos to GCI- my telecommunications sponsor, hunting guide, Rob Holt- my Alaskan wild game provider, and my doctor, Ruth Higdon. Last, but not least, I am so appreciative of the love and support of my parents, extended family, and boyfriend. I couldn't be where I am without all the help and encouragement I receive!

To wrap up this post, make sure to check out the great video (posted above) that my teammate, Reese Hanneman, created recently (thanks, Reese, for letting me re-post your awesome video!). He's got some artistic talent. This definitely has my vote as the best APU ski film yet! Most of the footage comes from Hatcher Pass where we did much of our early winter preparations... Way cool!

SNOW!

Yep, winter has hit Anchorage! We skied at Hatcher Pass, north of Anchorage, last week, and I did intervals on the Spencer Loop on Wednesday. This afternoon I went for a distance ski on the Anchorage hillside. It was a beautiful evening for a ski...