Thoughts on Ski Racing

So clearly, I am not much of a blogger. I guess I'm not that into the posting of day-to-day tid-bits. I also don't much like the idea of having an internet personality. Perhaps that's because I like the facets of skiing that are solitary- I also like the camaraderie, the friendships, the community, don't get me wrong- but I like that much of what I do is solo... I suppose what I am saying is easily perceived if you've visited my blog lately. Really I am not a very good blogger. What I do know about myself is that I love to write, and at this moment in time, it feels particularly cathartic.

Lately I've been feeling lost in limbo. My focus has wavered as I've let the challenges of ski racing get to me. Taz the ski racer has always been 100% Taz the ski racer, has never wavered, rarely succumbed to self-doubt or looked to other pastures for greener grass, and has had her sights set far down the road, knowing that patience is the key. Last year was an all-time low for me relative to performance, the way my body felt in training, and, most importantly, mentally. It was a slump, a 365+ day athletic/career low, but somehow, for some reason, I plugged along. I guess I just knew it couldn't get any worse, and with the help and encouragement of my family, friends, and coach, I began to feel better, began to race better, and saw a spring return to my stride... Each day I trained, and I started to realize that the low was just part of the journey, that it wasn't a permanent state of being. It was encouraging to find myself clawing out of my slump. Now I find myself somewhere between where I was at my worst and where I was at my best, and while I'm am so proud to be on the rebound, I am plagued with pangs of impatience and frustration.

2010 is an Olympic year, the once-in-four-years event that athletes around the world aspire to take part in. Strangely I feel very conflicted about the Olympics these days it's almost hard to put into words... I remember being a young child skiing out the trail from my house imagining racing in the Olympics. Every step of my journey as a ski racer I have thought about the Olympics, wanting so much to work hard and ski fast enough to be able to take part in that experience. Of course I have sought much more from ski racing than just this one opportunity, but it has been a goal nonetheless.

At a time when resolutions seem especially relevant, I look at my life and realize that every day for many years I have worked towards my resolution of becoming the best ski racer I can be. Each day I've made many little goals in hopes that incremental success will get my closer to my larger ones. I am the kind of person who likes working towards something, likes seeing improvement and change as I do all I can to be the best I can be. I am a firm believer in setting goals, expressing them, and working hard, without excuses, in an effort to achieve them. It's important to me that I am true to myself when identifying a goal, that I want to achieve something not for fame or fortune or status, but because I am passionate about what I am doing.

Long ago I decided I wanted to give 110% as a ski racer. I didn't specifically want to be an Olympian, although I did imagine that as I whizzed down the ski trail as a child. To me the recognition one receives as an "olympian" is a title, a feather in one's cap, a distinguishing accolade. It says a lot about someones work ethic, talent, and athletic prowess. But it's about so much more than being able to say your an olympian.

With Olympics occupying a spot on my list of goals for some time now, I've thought a lot about what they really mean to me. If I ever get the chance to become an Olympian I want it to be because I deserve to be there. I want to have earned my spot on the US team, and I would like to think I could go and be competitive. If I get to take part in the Olympic experience someday I want it to be because I am a student of my sport. I don't want to be there to prove anything to anyone, and I don't want to do it for the recognition that it brings. I want to go because I love cross-country skiing, I have worked hard, and I enjoy the opportunity of testing myself.

With the Olympic hype in full swing, it is easy to lose sight of this, forgetting why it is a goal in the first place. The simple act of racing somehow seems to take on much more significance, and the daily joy of being fit and healthy seems to get swallowed up by this single goal. This has been hard for me. I want to be competitive with the best skiers in the world someday, and being named to an Olympic team would certainly be a step in that direction. At the same time, I want to be ready to be there. With the last distance race of the US National Championships concluded, it's hard to say what my future holds. I can see that I've come a long way, but I also have a long path ahead of me. Most of the time this journey is inspiring and fulfilling to me, but there are also the days when I feel lost and defeated. Failing to achieve a goal or meet predetermined markers of progress has been tremendously difficult and emotional. I have always worked as hard as I know possible in hopes that I could remove luck and hope from the equation, but the world just doesn't really work that way, and at times this is a brutal reality check.

With all these worlds behind me and nothing any more certain now than when I first began this post, I somehow feel much more calm. I am reminded to come back to how much I love cross-country skiing, how lucky I am to have the support of so many great people, and how fortunate I am to have had countless incredible experiences as a ski racer.

A Long Overdue Update

With my second glacier camp of the summer just a day away, I realized that the last time I updated this blog was right about the same time (prior to the first camp on Eagle Glacier). I guess that means that some time has passed, time that has been occupied primarily with training, resting, and more training...

The first glacier camp was a huge success, despite some challenges. After one skate session, we experienced some technical difficulties with our grooming equipment, making creating a wide, firm trail for skate skiing pretty much impossible. Normally with clear nights, the snow is firm in the mornings and skating is fabulous, but with the ash from Mt. Redoubt volcano covering the glacier, the snow wouldn't get firm, and the snow cat- which could have scraped the layer of ash off our trail- was out of order. So... the camp continued and we classic skied. Yep! We classic skied every day, twice a day for six days. In the end, I classic skied for 20+ hours that week, and it did wonders for my technique. With skating being my stronger suit, it was definitely a really beneficial camp for me. Sometimes there's nothing better than doing something over and over again to really ingrain it in your brain (and in this case also muscles).

With a short rest period after the camp, we jumped back into everyday training back in Anchorage. I've been noticing good progress so far this summer. My body is feeling good, I am recovering well, and I can tell that I am handling the training loads well. Perhaps it was a little too good to be true with everything appearing just perfect, because last week I got a nasty cold that put me out of commission for six solid days. The most I could do was drag myself out of bed in the morning for a pathetically slow, short run/rollerski and then climb right back into bed when I got home. I feel as though I slept for six days straight and exercised for maybe 4 hours total during that time. I was under the weather for July 4th, but I still headed up to Talkeetna to see my family and enjoy some time at home. It was fun to swim, packraft, and canoe in our lake; walk the dog; and join some of the family on a packrafting adventure down Willow Creek (which, due to my cold, I ended up bailing from and resorted to sleeping on the beach instead).

With a week of illness behind me, I am two days into training again and so happy to be back. One day off, let alone, six reminds me just how much I love what I do! Despite the aches and pains of training, the heat wave that we're currently experiencing, the smoke from the fires that has put a haze over Anchorage... I couldn't be more thankful to be running, rollerskiing, off of sudafed and out of bed!

Thanks for tuning in. Check back in a week for an update from the glacier...

Eagle Glacier

It's that time of year again... It's summer in  Alaska, and as an APU skier that means glacier season! Every summer since 2001 (minus one), I've trained on the Eagle Glacier at APU's Thomas Training Center. Most of the time I go up there three times a summer for a week at a time.  Not only is the glacier a place for consistent, focused training on snow during the summer- a rarity in itself for most skiers- it's also located in one of the most beautiful places in Alaska.

The Thomas Training Center is situated on a ridge above the Eagle Glacier and overlooks the small town of Girdwood, Alaska below.  It's a five minute helicopter ride or strenuous 3+ hour hike up to the facility.  Our food, gear and supplies are flown in by helicopter, and our mode of arrival (and departure) varies from camp-to-camp due to weather.

APU coaches and staff work tremendously hard all summer to prepare and maintain the glacier facility.  Safety is their number one concern, and they take many precautions to insure the safety of everyone who trains on the glacier and travels to and from the facility.  Every day a previously designed, wanded and probed loop is groomed by piston bully, making for some of the highest quality summer skiing available anywhere in the world.

In between twice daily sessions, athletes recover in the Thomas training center, spending time eating, stretching, sleeping, and watching video from prior sessions (to work on technique). As seen above and below, the views from the facility are breathtaking. Often the first thing you wake up to when you roll over in bed and glance out the window are mountains as far as the eye can see...

 

This year marks my eighth season training on Eagle, as I've been going since the summer after my freshman year in high school.  I've attended camps with many different athletes and several different coaches/staff members (as seen from prior camp photos below).

2006 Summer (perhaps?)

2007 Summer

2008 Summer

While many of the camps have blended together in my mind- in fact I have no idea exactly how many weeks of my life I've spent up there- one thing's for sure, the Eagle Glacier is a world class training facility.  I feel so fortunate to have the opportunity to ski right out my "backdoor."

So today marks summer glacier season #8. After a morning rollerski, we're headed up to Eagle this afternoon/evening.  I'm looking forward to (among other things): the feeling of snow beneath my skis; the second-home-familiarity of the training center bunk rooms; sticky klister fingers jammed into ski gloves every day; making desserts large enough to feed two dozen hungry athletes; the incredible, wonderful feeling of satisfaction that can only come from the fatigue of training a lot (sometimes long, sometimes hard, sometimes both); and, last but not least, the beautiful summer evenings that can only be experienced on Eagle Glacier.

Bend Wrap-up

The Bend, Oregon portion of the May 2009 US Ski Team Camp is coming to a close as we pack our bags and the team vans for a four hour drive to the coast.  I skied at Mt. Bachelor eight days, with one recovery day off snow (also our golf day, pictured below) during the middle portion of the camp.  Of all those sessions, only one day did we encounter less-than-perfect weather.  Mt. Bachelor surely didn't disappoint and neither did Bend, with both proving to be great places to train this time of year.  I look forward to training here again in the future!

Below are a few shot from the ten days I've spent here...  Thanks to Chris Grover and Jason Adams for providing the pictures.  I was too preoccupied skiing, golfing, and enjoying the surroundings to get many good photos of my own.

  

Last Thursday we spent the afternoon golfing.  The team (pictured above) dressed for the occasion standing in front of one of the lava tubes on one of the courses.

Prior to golfing we checked out the lava tubes.

On Sunday we crust skied back to the bowl below Broken Top Mountain.  Lots of other skiers training here in Bend joined us for this 3 hour adventure.

The approach (pictured above) involved skiing down the trails from the Mt. Bachelor Nordic Area, through the forest, across a lake, and up a steep hill, before we made it out onto the flat open expanse in the foreground of Broken Top.  It was a beautiful day.

So that's the news from Bend.  My trip is almost over now, with just a few more workouts with the team before heading back to Alaska.  It's been great spending time in a new place.  Thanks to all the people who have made this camp possible, generously inviting us to BBQs, arranging for the great skiing/grooming, etc., etc.

Golfing?!?

Yep, you read correctly!  Today we went golfing at "one of the best courses on the West Coast."  It was our recovery day, so after a easy morning run, breakfast, a walk around downtown Bend and a trip to Whole Foods Market, followed by lunch, we all piled into the cars and went...golfing!  A local Bend skier (and golfer) went out of his way to get us a free round of golf and rentals at the beautiful Prong Horn Club outside of Bend.  We started at 3pm and played "best ball" for 9 holes, finishing just after 6pm.  It was a warm, sunny day out on the green and a very nice course for me to try my hand at my first few swings.  I was in a group with Koos, Whitcomb, and Kuzzy and really appreciated the coaching and encouragement from each of them.  I'm happy to report that there was significant improvement- although that's perhaps to be expected when you've never swung a golf club.  I had no problem making contact with the ball; sending it in the right direction to a specific distance was another story.  My shots were pretty haphazard, but it made for some good laughs...I think there might have been a few instances of beginners lucky, and I avoided losing my ball to the pond, but there's still plenty of room for improvement next time!

After a long afternoon we were warmly welcomed to a BBQ/potluck hosted by one of the ski clubs in town.  It was great to put faces to the numerous Bend-skier names I've heard, but never met.  Vordenberg gave slide show full of artist and motivating ski photos, and we enjoyed some wonderful food.  These experiences are the reason the Bend ski community has made a lasting impression.  It's great to see so many people up skiing at Mt. Bachelor, and it's inspiring to see so many people involved and loving skiing.   Thanks to Bend for being such a good host!

More to come...(and maybe even some golf photos!)

More good training at Mt. Bachelor

US Ski Team ladies jump for joy at the prospect of another Mt. Bachelor ski day.  

(Photo credit: Pete Vordenberg)

Today was day #3 skiing at Mt. Bachelor, and like the first day, it was absolutely beautiful weather.  The rainy/snowy, windy, foggy weather we skied through yesterday made me appreciate the perfect conditions today that much more.  We arrived to firm trails dusted in a light layer of new snow and were joined by many other racers and local skiers out enjoying the great late spring training.  It feels good to be logging kilometers on snow, seeing friends from around the country, and interacting with my US teammates and coaches.  There's nothing better than on-snow skiing year-round...  Next stop (next week), the Oregon Coast, followed by a brief Salt Lake visit, and a little over a week after arriving home, I head up to the glacier with my APU team for even more time on the snow!

 

Bend Camp

Yesterday I arrived in Bend, Oregon for my first US Ski Team camp of the new season.  Mt. Bachelor still has quite a bit of snow, so we're skiing every morning up high and dryland training in Bend in the afternoon.  Today was my first day back on snow in a few weeks, and my first time classic skiing since Distance Nationals in Fairbanks, and it was a great day to get back at it!  We arrived to blue skies, sunshine and firm tracks that quickly broke down into great soft klister skiing.  In addition to my other US teammates, there was a large XC Oregon contingent and numerous other racers from around the country out on the trails at Bachelor today.

So I've been back into training in Anchorage with APU, my club team, since April 27th, and I feel as though I've already made some good gains since then, but it's always fun to travel to a new place for a while.  It's my first time in Bend, and so far I'm quite impressed with the quality of "summer" skiing and the great weather up at Mt. Bachelor.  Stay tuned for more updates, and, hopefully, some pictures to come!